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Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Feb 21, 2019.

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  1. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Why did vegan Colin Kipperpernicklespickle cross the road?
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    To sell you a pair of leather trainers.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 2, 2019
    #1276
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  2. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    You must have got that one off the back of a Coco Pops box.
     
    Nonnie, Jul 2, 2019
    #1277
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  3. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I phoned Gamblers Anonymous.
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    Message said call back at 20 to 1
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 2, 2019
    #1278
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  4. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I sleep better naked…why can't the flight attendant understand this?
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 2, 2019
    #1279
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  5. xwsmithx

    xwsmithx Well-Known Member

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    Blatant favoritism when Wendy's isn't included.
     
    xwsmithx, Jul 2, 2019
    #1280
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  6. Blaster3

    Blaster3 Well-Known Member

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    he's sitting on wendy's
     
    Blaster3, Jul 2, 2019
    #1281
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  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk".
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 2, 2019
    #1282
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them.


    I did that and I feel much better but I am wondering do I keep the letters.?
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 3, 2019
    #1283
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  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Dr. Drobkin was a world-famous cardiologist who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his hometown and then left for Manhattan where he quickly rose to the top of his field.
    Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference held in his hometown. He walked on stage, placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor.
    As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted. The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the lecture room and reverberated it down the hall! He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his hometown again.
    Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under the name of Cohen and arrived under cover of darkness.
    The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Cohen?"
    Dr. Drobkin replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here, received my education here, but then moved away."
    "Why haven't you visited?" asked the desk clerk.
    "Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return."
    The clerk consoled him, "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I bet that's true of your incident too."
    Dr. Drobkin replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my embarrassment."
    "Was it a long time ago?"
    "Yes, many years."

    The clerk asked, "Was it before or after the Drobkin Fart?"
     
    Sallyally, Jul 3, 2019
    #1284
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  10. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Jul 3, 2019
    #1285
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  11. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Jul 3, 2019
    #1286
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  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I saw a woman with 12 breasts the other day. Sounds weird, dozen tit?
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2019
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 4, 2019
    #1287
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  13. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Raindance next Tuesday, weather permitting.
     
    Nonnie, Jul 4, 2019
    #1288
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  14. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    New cereal for Scousers; Smack, Crack and Pot
     
    Nonnie, Jul 4, 2019
    #1289
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  15. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Got my new Huawei 5g phone today

    hqdefault.jpg
     
    Nonnie, Jul 4, 2019
    #1290
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  16. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    5a3dded772f29.jpeg
     
    Nonnie, Jul 4, 2019
    #1291
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  17. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I'm afraid that if I give up coffee

    I'd replace it with murdering
     
    Nonnie, Jul 4, 2019
    #1292
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  18. Blaster3

    Blaster3 Well-Known Member

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    Blaster3, Jul 4, 2019
    #1293
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  19. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    A kid in the park, informed me that smoking was bad for me. So l popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2019
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 5, 2019
    #1294
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  20. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    POLITICS. Is a combination of the Greek word "POLY" meaning many, And the word "TICS" meaning blood suckers.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 5, 2019
    #1295
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  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 5, 2019
    #1296
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  22. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    You know what I like most about Conservative women?


    No penis
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 5, 2019
    #1297
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  23. Crownline

    Crownline Banned at Members Request

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    What happened to her head?
     
    Crownline, Jul 5, 2019
    #1298
  24. Blaster3

    Blaster3 Well-Known Member

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    ok kids, this is what happens when you don't take your ritalin!
     
    Blaster3, Jul 5, 2019
    #1299
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  25. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Was that the correct wording?
     
    Nonnie, Jul 5, 2019
    #1300
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