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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    ******* ******* ******* **** ***** ******* badger ******** is how I feel about censorship.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 10, 2018
    #3051
  2. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Well, you can ***** **** ****** *****, mate.

    PS - random asterisks so I haven't a clue what I've just said.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
    Nonnie, Dec 10, 2018
    #3052
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  3. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Theresa May: I have cancelled the commoners' vote on Brexit.
    Reporter: You mean the Commons vote?.
    Theresa May: I know what I said.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 11, 2018
    #3053
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  4. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    The band Massive Attack have had their 1998 album Mezzanine encoded as synthetic DNA, and put into cans of spray paint.
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    Big deal. Just last week I got some DNA on the cover of my sister's Beyonce album.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 11, 2018
    #3054
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  5. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Dec 11, 2018
    #3055
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  6. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I recently visited the National Railway Museum at York. Unfortunately it was closed. So I had to go to the Bus Replacement Museum instead.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 11, 2018
    #3056
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  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I've told my missus not to eat the chocolate coins on the Christmas tree this year because after March they will be worth a sight more than real ****ing money.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 11, 2018
    #3057
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Archer is great
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 11, 2018
    #3058
  9. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Was in the pub with my mate and he was telling me "There's nothing better than picking up a hooker, shagging her, letting her out the car and then running her over to get your money back."
    "Oh yeah, that Grand Theft Auto is a great game" I said.
    "Grand theft what?" said my friend "never heard of it."
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 11, 2018
    #3059
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  10. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Dec 11, 2018
    #3060
  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Senior Logic

    [​IMG]

    I went to the Dan Murphy’s liquor store Monday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of single malt scotch whisky and put it in the bicycle basket.

    As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the very nice whisky before I cycled home.

    It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
     
    Sallyally, Dec 12, 2018
    #3061
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  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Laptop speakers!..too quiet for music..too loud for porn!
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3062
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  13. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    BREAKING NEWS - A bi-plane has just crashed in a Dublin cemetery. Police said they've recovered thirty six bodies so far and they're still hopeful in finding some survivors.

    (I know it's an old joke but it still tickles me)
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2018
    Nonnie, Dec 12, 2018
    #3063
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  14. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    It was a sad moment when Fred and Rose's house, 25 Cromwell Street was demolished. It was a lovely house, two up, ten down.
     
    Nonnie, Dec 12, 2018
    #3064
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  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Why did Fred West's first wife leave him?
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    She was sick of having the kids under her feet all day.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3065
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  16. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    What's yellow and feeds off dead beetles?
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    Yoko ono
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3066
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  17. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Mummy, mummy, I'm 18 now, can I wear a bra?
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    No you can't, Anthony.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3067
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  18. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Rose West is thirsty. What did she say to Fred?
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    "God, I'm thirsty, I could murder a couple of Tennants!"
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3068
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  19. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Q: what do you do if a bird shits on your head?
    A: finish with her.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3069
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  20. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    He kept his Tennant's in the cellar.
     
    Nonnie, Dec 12, 2018
    #3070
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  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    What is the difference between your bonus, and your penis?
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    Your wife has already blown your bonus.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2018
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3071
  22. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Unless it's your 'thing', in which case think yourself lucky 'cos there ain't many others who would.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2018
    cerberus, Dec 12, 2018
    #3072
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  23. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between an Essex girl and a Kit-Kat.
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    You only get 4 fingers in a Kit-Kat.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3073
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  24. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Cleveland Steamers?
     
    Nonnie, Dec 12, 2018
    #3074
  25. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Cambodian hopscotch:
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    Like traditional hopscotch but with a landmine under the last square.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 12, 2018
    #3075
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