This electrician arrives home at 3am. His wife asks him, "Wire you insulate?" He replies, "Watt's it to you? I'm Ohm, aren't I?"
I had a wonderful Ancient History teacher in college who told us about the primitive wristwatch invented by Alexander the Great. The soldiers tied strips of cloth to their wrists, which had been dipped in dye. When the dye dried it changed color, and the soldiers knew it was time to attack. We were all sitting there busily taking notes on this, when the professor told us, "This invention became known as Alexander's Rag Time-Band."
Trump tried to slam Franken by calling him Frankenstien, instead of Frankenstein. When asked about this, former VP Dan Quayle responded: What a potatoe head!
The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. Their line had included Senators, Pastors, and Wall Street wizards. Now they decided to compile a family history, a legacy for the children. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose: how to handle that great-uncle who was executed in the electric chair. But the author said not to worry, he could handle that section of history tactfully. When the book appeared, the family turned to the section on Uncle George. There, they read "George Smith occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties. His death came as a real shock.
Kushner was touted as a wonderkind, a genius, a phenomenon, who was going to do what none have done before and bring peace to the Middle East. But he couldn't fill out a security clearance form. It has had to be "corrected" over 100 times.
Not a pun, but funny. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
Met an Arab drugs dealer the other day, his name was Abb A Dabadis, he introduced me to his brother Abba Nother Dabadis.
The other night a car alarm kept going off. After about the 3rd cycle I called the cops to report the nuisance. I said I didn't know if this is appropriate but I want to report a car alarm. Is there anything you can do about that? She responded strangely, as if I said something stupid, and indicated that someone would be right out. Then it occurred to me that this is actually an ALARM! LOL! I'm so used to nuisance trips that I had forgotten it could be a crime in progress.
My girl friend left me last night, for another bloke, she said he was a better lover than me, apparently he knows all her "Here Roger Nuzzle Us Zones"
"KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — A man accidentally shot himself and his wife at an east Tennessee church on Thursday while he was showing off his gun during a discussion on recent church shootings, police said." https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...ngs/873053001/
