Drinking, smoking pot and just plain partying was the order of the day. What happened is all the women ended up in one room babysitting while the men did the partying. Ended up being two seperate events with moms being moms and reading books to kids and changing diapers while men did the party thing. Women may as well have stayed home.
When children are present you tend their needs. Sometimes it's nice for adults to just be with adults.
I never said that. I said it's rude (extremely, IMO) to exclude your relatives from your important social events due to their age. I have no idea how you extracted bride-provided child care from that.
That's not a group social activity. Besides - that can be done any day, when the kids are asleep, at home.
And yet you say children are the problem? If you don't do that very particular stuff (my bold), then there is no problem including children in your group social activities. People do it all the time.
Why should the age of your relatives dictate the terms of a social occasion. Hysterical four year olds runnng around a wedding reception and infants wailing? Not much fun.
But you ARE with adults. You and your friends are all still able to do exactly what you would have done (eat dinner, barbecue, catch up on gossip, whatever - the only difference is the little interruptions. When all of you have young kids, no one gets upset by this.
People rarely take kids to symphonies, but I thought we were talking about private social functions (parties etc)?
Sure, but why would your relative allow their 4 year old to run around and wail? That was my point .. if there are going to be kids, you (as host) need to make clear the parameters of that largess. Politely ask that kids are well contained during the crucial bits.
guess you never heard of a concert, my friends & i get together regularly to 'listen' to music and drink a beer or two... children not welcome so that'll leave you out...
What gets me is that so often the kids are forced into an environment they don't feel comfortable in, for far longer than they should, and with no real options for their entertainment. Parents have to ask themselves what will the kids get out of the three hours they have to sit still and act like mini-adults. I think its good for A kid to sit in a restaurant with adults, and learn patience, and practice more adult manners and the expectations of adult society for an hour or so. They listen, they learn and they can even periodically participate. But if you are not prepared to be in 'teaching mode', and you have a lousy kid/ adult ratio at the table or event, or your attention is divided, then the adults and the kids are equally frustrated, tired and miserable , you are not accomplishing any goal other than to set the children up to fail.
Sounds naive The world is full of adults who feel no need whatsoever to do any of that stuff when socialising. How very Western-centric of you, Dear. Get out more ... it will be an education! Seriously .. did you think that those who don't drink/do drugs never have parties? I mean I know you're too smart to think such a bizarre thing .. but your comment about wowserism reveals a surprising ... rustic innocence, shall we say.
Which part excludes children? The music, or the beer? If the latter, I rest my case. Adults are the problem, not the kids. Meantime, why do you exclude your children from the world of music? We have taken ours to such things from as soon as they were old enough to sit quietly for an hour or so. Folk festivals, Blues festivals, classical, opera, etc.
Let me get this straight. You literally think partying necessarily involves alcohol/drugs? Wow. Have you people been living in caves somewhere, sans radio contact?
nah, it's easier, safer, better AND more polite to just ban them from the event... by 'more polite', i mean blaster won't have to publicly ridicule and scold your incessant uncontrollable kid... yeah, i'm a 'blast' on commercial aircraft when that annoying pos keeps kicking the back of the seat, scares the crap out of 'em... literally at times
I have a sign in my home that says 'Dogs Welcome, Children Must be on a Leash'. Anyone who is invited to my home is well aware that I don't enjoy the company of children and are not offended by the sign or by my ensuring that children not be brought to parties. As for other (privately owned) spaces, I think it is just fine to make 'adult only' places.
I do too, I made that very clear. I have no tolerance for toddlers in certain situations (anywhere they encroach on my personal space, or there's even the tiniest possibility of my having to actually do anything with or about them .. like actually watch them, or feed them, or entertain them). I think toddlers generally are not fit for human consumption - being irrational, self-aborbed, loud, and dangerously mobile. But I also think the idea of 'adult time' is bizarre. You can even manage a good social life when your kids are little, if all of your friends have kids too. That way no one is overly bothered by their presence, and fun times carry on.
