Smartie's Hideaway Bar & Grill #35

Call me crazy, but I have a hankering for this.

 

Please try and put yourself in this poor ladies place for one sedond.


My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint ...had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.). Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them...... I just never saw one mounted and framed."

 

Makes for a side dish. Love the tartness. Best I ever had was at an Argentinian steak house.

 

You're crazy.

 

I made a peppered pork roast in the slow cooker over the weekend. It's a favorite of our's. With taters, carrots, onions, celery, tomatoes, mushrooms and all the seasonings. Cook till it falls apart. Gets me all kinds of praise..

 

Crazy. What? You told me to call you crazy.

 

LMAO! Poor thing.

 

Yes indeed.
So, am I the only one who likes Gyros?

 

LMAO...no, I like them. You said call you 'crazy'...so I did. I'm being a smartass.

 

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a Paraprosdokian --

Winston Churchill loved them_

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

 

Well, that's understood....all of it.

 

Good stuff smartie. Close call, but 14 is my favorite.
Oh, and btw, I have not clue where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

 

Love All Of These!

 

I'm glad you understand me.

 

Okay, no Mimosa for me? I'll fix it myself.



Here's an extra for whoever grabs it first!

 

I like it.

Relatively common in Southern Italia. Most Often at street/open aire markets, great for eating while walking and shopping.

 

My favs - toss up between 7 & 13.

 

Ohhh...was ONE of those earlier for you? Sorry, I drank them both.

 

Later gators...it's 72 degrees outside. Ruby just called and said let's go!

Have a good evening everybody.

 

Lucky you. It's 40 here and raining.

 

Wrong.YOU can buy a whole box of tea bags.I ain't a little old lady YET!

 

Hay ... where you been.I've seen bald-headed beer guts Babes.
They're called Butch and they're about as appealing as a ornery
Truck Driver stuck at a Truck Stop w/heartburn.

 

Sooo... what? If you want tea, do you hire somebody to go buy you tea bags?

You're weird, Foolie.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om3ZHyBz5u4"]Tea for Two[/ame]