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Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Apr 14, 2020.

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  1. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Is that all?
     
    Sallyally, Dec 18, 2022
    #3151
  2. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Jimmy Carr joke
     
    Nonnie, Dec 19, 2022
    #3152
  3. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Went over my head.
    Jimmy Carr is normally not hard to understand.
     
    Sallyally, Dec 19, 2022
    #3153
  4. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    When you say, "That's gay" about something, it means, "To signify a stupid, unwanted, or weird idea".

    And as a civil partnership is for gays, then that's the joke, the play on words.

    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=That's Gay
     
    Nonnie, Dec 20, 2022
    #3154
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  5. 19Crib

    19Crib Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    1B7ED3E3-B49F-4502-A813-68F2E133EAE7.jpeg
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2022
    19Crib, Dec 20, 2022
    #3155
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  6. 19Crib

    19Crib Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    22A2F12F-36AD-40BC-A4B0-E7AC62203013.jpeg
     
    19Crib, Dec 20, 2022
    #3156
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  7. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sallyally, Dec 20, 2022
    #3157
  8. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Jokes are just not the same when you have to explain them :D
     
    Nonnie, Dec 20, 2022
    #3158
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  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sorry.
     
    Sallyally, Dec 20, 2022
    #3159
  10. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Prob a cultural thing. If someone here says, "What do you think of my new jumper", you say, "It looks gay" (trivial, funny, unimportant, pussified etc..)
     
    Nonnie, Dec 20, 2022
    #3160
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  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    My kids say that. I’m behind the times.
     
    Sallyally, Dec 20, 2022
    #3161
  12. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Why do women wear white on their wedding day?

    Because white is the traditional colour for new appliances
     
    Nonnie, Dec 21, 2022
    #3162
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  13. James California

    James California Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    main-qimg-f5283f341f1bbb1c96565da8a31d75b1-lq.jpeg
     
    James California, Dec 22, 2022
    #3163
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  14. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    64369-44528250-1c28-49aa-9dbf-c382969a8fe2.jpg
     
    Nonnie, Dec 22, 2022
    #3164
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  15. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    64381-c6f4ab76-3e44-4a0f-b0ad-9a18697482d4.jpg
     
    Nonnie, Dec 22, 2022
    #3165
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  16. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    This was in our paper this morning.
    “So Donald Trump had a surge in support after Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach was raided, and may gain more support if he is indicted for alleged crimes committed while in office. Just imagine how popular he would be if he were imprisoned.”
     
    Sallyally, Dec 22, 2022
    #3166
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  17. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    What's the difference between a security guard and a police officer?

    The security guard wasn't a big ***t to be a police officer
     
    Nonnie, Dec 22, 2022
    #3167
  18. zalekbloom

    zalekbloom Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    FB_IMG_1671766358505.jpg
     
    zalekbloom, Dec 22, 2022
    #3168
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  19. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sallyally, Dec 23, 2022
    #3169
  20. James California

    James California Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    3adab953-97c1-4e58-adb9-941db58aa0da.jpeg
    Donald J Trump Ambulance Service     ​
     
    James California, Dec 24, 2022
    #3170
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  21. James California

    James California Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    main-qimg-e2337ee9d502eef6b3ef28725ee22305-lq.jpeg

    main-qimg-6342d0d6e6fe3740ec3b9f9223969c07-lq.jpeg ​
     
    James California, Dec 24, 2022
    #3171
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  22. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"

    "My father said it'd be a good idea, Sir."

    "Oh? And what does your father do?"

    "He's in the Army, Sir."
     
    Sallyally, Dec 26, 2022
    #3172
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  23. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Jon and Dan are in a mental institution which has an annual contest that picks two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they answer correctly, they are released.

    Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says: "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

    Jon says: "I'd be half blind."

    "That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?"

    "I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.

    The doctor asks Dan: "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"

    Dan says: "I'd be half blind."

    The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears?"

    "I'd be completely blind."

    "Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor.

    "Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes."
     
    Sallyally, Dec 26, 2022
    #3173
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  24. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    ...and his spectacles would fall off.
     
    Montegriffo, Dec 27, 2022
    #3174
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  25. popscott

    popscott Well-Known Member Donor

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    Hi Sweetheart,


    I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights.

    I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something.

    I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy.

    All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season.

    Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights!

    I took the time to hang the lights for you today; and now I will be off to play some golf…

    Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I'll be home late.

    _____________________________________________

    Her response -

    Hi Honey,

    Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don't often get an apology from you, and I truly appreciate it.


    I, too, felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize. I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy.

    I will try to respect your feelings from now on.

    Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot.

    In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you; and now I am off to the mall.

    I love you too!

    upload_2022-12-29_9-27-21.png

    upload_2022-12-29_9-27-34.png
     
    popscott, Dec 29, 2022
    #3175
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