My Second Life and other Secrets

Discussion in 'Member Casual Chat' started by HereWeGoAgain, Nov 25, 2016.

  1. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Connecting with Number One again is getting to me. The thought of being with her again rips my heart out. And oh my gosh, she is 29 now and more beautiful than ever. It makes my search seem futile.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2019
  2. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2010
    Messages:
    30,359
    Likes Received:
    6,761
    Trophy Points:
    113
    What I went through was finding out that I was gay and coming to terms with it. That was life changing.
     
    HereWeGoAgain likes this.
  3. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I can only imagine. But there is one thing you and I very much have in common - the need to be true to yourself. I had to put a gun to my head before I could really be honest without myself.
     
  4. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2010
    Messages:
    30,359
    Likes Received:
    6,761
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I never got that far but I did think about it. It does put a lot into perspective. And from there you have nowhere to go but up.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2019
  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I planned it for a couple of months. What really stopped me was the thought of having sex with hot women. As I was trying to get up the strength to pull the trigger, my mind was racing and still grasping for a reason to live. For the first time and out of the blue, it occurred to me that I could be in Reno getting laid by some gorgeous woman tomorrow. My wife and I hadn't had sex in over ten years and I had never seriously considered cheating. But clearly this was something else. My next thought was, THAT is worth living another day! The next morning I told my wife I wanted a divorce and made a bee line to Reno as soon as I could. And so began the wildest ride of my life.

    But in order to do that, I had to let go of everything. I had to be willing to lose everything I had and the person I had always been. I'd never even been to strip club much less seen a prostitute. And I almost never bought anything for myself. But it was time to be honest and take care of me. And above all else I REALLY needed to get laid. Over time I came to understand that my loveless. sexless marriage had sucked the will to live right out of me.
     
  6. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2010
    Messages:
    30,359
    Likes Received:
    6,761
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Glad you pulled through
     
    HereWeGoAgain likes this.
  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Maybe I said too much. Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe she will respond. But I had to tell her [Number One]: She is and will probably always be the greatest love of my life. I tried very hard not to lay any guilt trips on her. I know it was really hard for her to walk away; esp knowing now that she did fall in love with me. So I didn't want to tell her this, but without her, I am still lost. I really can't imagine loving someone else a fraction as much as I do her. I will never get over her. And I would still do anything to have her back.

    I will bounce back and continue the search in hopes of finding another miracle. But one look at her and it all seems so hopeless. She is still my heart and soul.
     
  8. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I keep thinking about one of the sweetest moments we ever had. She had made me a sugar-free birthday cake. So I made a wish and blew out the candles. Then I looked at her and said, "Damn! My wish didn't come true." "How can you know so quickly?" she asked. "I know because you're not wearing a wedding dress", I replied.

    That got to her. It was one of the few times that she blushed.
     
  9. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    How about that, she [Number One] responded. I was afraid it might be too much. But every word was true and she knows it. So now she knows for sure what anyone reading this thread has known for a long time. She is and will always be my greatest love. No one else has ever come close to what I feel for her.

    It was nice to finally say it directly: My love for her is the greatest gift life has ever given me.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2019
    liberalminority likes this.
  10. liberalminority

    liberalminority Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    23,058
    Likes Received:
    1,061
    Trophy Points:
    113
    i do not think it was unrequited love, she had a full scholarship and now is a successful professional in the free market because of her sugar dad.

    a very lucky 29 year old gal indeed
     
    HereWeGoAgain likes this.
  11. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    This all began when she emailed and said she needed to clear the air: She did fall in love with me. Although it made my head nearly explode thinking that she fell in love and still walked away, I understand. In fact it was best that I didn't know that. I knew she loved me. But had I known that she was in love with me, I think it would have been more than I could take. As it was I cried like a baby every morning for two months, when she left. I cried more than I ever have in my life, all combined. I didn't know how I could go on... But I knew I had to let go and try to find love like that again. And so began my search for true love.

    Knowing that now is still hard but it also gives me great joy. It especially makes me happy knowing that after 4.5 years, she still needed to tell me. That means I've always been in her heart as well.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2019
  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    After thinking about her response, considering her situation [just broke up with a LT boyfriend she had moved in with] and the context of some of her comments, and after discussing this with my barber :), a young woman who has been with me as my adviser in this since almost the very beginning, I can't avoid the conclusion that Number One is considering letting me into her life again. She said so but I didn't understand the context. But at this point it is hard to deny. OMG, then I felt trepidation. What if it isn't the same. I've put this woman on a pedestal for over 7 years. How can she ever live up to that?!?! LOL! But then I thought about being with her and how she makes me feel. At that point a warm wave washed over me. I know in my heart how I felt and still feel. All of those feelings welled up in me. For the first time I believed there is a real chance that I may see her again.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2019
  13. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    OR maybe not. Sigh. She has gone quiet on me for now. In the mean time, I have found a tremendously beautiful young lady and may be moving ahead with her. We have had three dates and so far, so good. She seems a little tentative so I'm not rushing her. We met for coffee and spent a couple of very nice evenings together just talking and enjoying some good food. She is definitely one of the most beautiful women I've met. My buddy thinks she is hotter than Number One. I say that is a physical impossibility but concede that I could be biased. Anyway, I don't know which way this is going to go. We definitely connect but not sure how much of a connection we can evolve. I wont move ahead if her heart is not in it. On the up side, she definitely requires an emotional connection. So it could lead to a wonderful relationship.
     
  14. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Number One and I have been talking a bit more. I think she's lonely. She has no family in that area and she just relocated. My buddy actually thinks we may end up together again. He argues that I treated her better than she's ever been treated, and I'm the most stable person she has ever had in her life. He makes a good point. But she is a very strong and smart woman. If she ever does come back to me, it wont be due to insecurity.

    I won't be moving ahead with the new young lady I met. She is strikingly beautiful but her heart and head aren't in the right place. So back to the coffee dates.

    Once again, I am thinking of the sweetest and cutest Christmas gift I've ever received. It was our first Christmas together when Number One bought a sexy elf outfit and put together this amazingly cute and sexy dance routine that she performed for me, while she played this video.



    It was so cute and endearing that I had to wipe the tears from my eyes when she wasn't looking.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2019
  15. liberalminority

    liberalminority Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    23,058
    Likes Received:
    1,061
    Trophy Points:
    113
    in your line of hobby they're plenty of fish, keep on trucking

    you are a pioneer and mentor in this new frontier for the future generations of America.

     
    HereWeGoAgain likes this.
  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Haha, you crack me up. But thank you. I like to write about it because my life has been a somewhat unusual adventure. And indeed I realized that we can make our own rules. In classic relationships, we follow a fairly standard set of rules that govern what we do, how we act, and that tells us from the start where we are supposed to end up. But in this world, we can throw the rules out. We can invent our own variety of a relationship that suits us. It is just another manifestation of the failure of marriage for many of us. Open relationships. homosexual and even more commonly, bisexual relationships, escorts [the oldest profession], sugar relationships [which really go back thousands of years], polyamory, you name it, people are trying many new spins on intimacy and companionship because we are looking for or have found alternatives to marriage.

    In the end, most of us NEED human touch, intimacy, and companionship. That's what it's really all about.
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2019
  17. liberalminority

    liberalminority Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    23,058
    Likes Received:
    1,061
    Trophy Points:
    113
    as long as an American is not lazy, they may enjoy many different fruits from their labours.

    this lifestyle appears to be tolerated in a puritanical civilisation because it is earned through a Protestant Work Ethic.

    America was founded by Protestants who value marriage, but they are a merciful people who allow different lifestyles and beliefs from their original sacrifices against england for religious freedom.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2019
  18. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    My cute young work assistant [a very smart young lady and engineer] and I have gotten so close that it is making people uncomfortable. LOL! She is in the same age range as many of the women I date. So I find it easy to relate to her. And people notice. There is no funny business but it is probably fair to say that we have grown to love each other in a respectful way [she is married].

    I jokingly refer to Bruce Lee from time to time. He once said that you have to be like water. I often say it tongue-in-cheek but it's true. In order to date women ranging in age from 21 to 40, you have to be flexible and be able to relate to their world. It has been a part of the challenge and adventure - learning to adapt. I have to think this affects my relationships with young women generally. They seem to sense that I am comfortable with their world.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2020
  19. liberalminority

    liberalminority Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    23,058
    Likes Received:
    1,061
    Trophy Points:
    113
    forbidden love, it reminds me of a movie by richard gere and diane lane Unfaithful - 2002.

    this could be a role reversal with a happy ending, where the older guy cuckolds the younger guy and everyone parts ways peacefully.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2020
  20. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    There is nothing forbidden about loving someone as a friend. ;) I know we both felt the impulses early on. We definitely have very strong sexual chemistry. But we both pulled back on the reigns and have kept things completely appropriate. And the fact is, we make a fantastic engineering team. We have worked very closely every day for over a year and have done excellent work together. Everything else aside, I wouldn't want to ruin that. But it is still fun working with her when she isn't being a pain in the rear! LOL. And she definitely induces a positive neurological response to the optic nerves.
     
  21. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Had a great date with my new sb last night - number 17. She is beautiful and charming and has a sweetness about her that leaves me feeling like I could float away. No one has made me feel like that since Number One. Just the sound of her voice is enchanting. And she really likes me too. She was clearly feeling close and sexually connected. She is definitely attracted to me. We have agreed to continue monogamously, which is unusual this early into things. It was our first date that included sex.

    I am more excited about her than anyone I've met for a long time. We don't seem to have a deep intellectual connection but the hours pass like minutes none the less. We have a natural comfort with each other and felt that almost instantly. I also suspect she had never been with a man who truly knows how to please a lady. I saw surprise in her eyes a few times. LOL!

    GREAT night. And she's only 21. But has a real thing for older men. Gorgeous and a smoking hot bod to boot. Whewwww. Finding a woman like her is what makes all the failed coffee dates and false starts, worth the effort.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2020
  22. liberalminority

    liberalminority Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    23,058
    Likes Received:
    1,061
    Trophy Points:
    113
    wow 21 with 50 plus sugar dad, that is amazing fertility.



     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2020
  23. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    18,855
    Likes Received:
    10,883
    Trophy Points:
    113
    It requires reckless abandon of the heart to do what I do. I look for love. I want to fall in love even though I know I will probably get my heart broke. I often muse that you can keep 'em for a while but you can't keep 'em forever. The entire time I was seeing Number One, even though I was madly in love and couldn't imagine ever letting her go, I always knew the day had to come. It was as much agony as ecstasy.

    Then one day I heard an old song that I knew well. But I heard it for the first time. Bill Withers knew exactly how it works.

     
  24. liberalminority

    liberalminority Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    23,058
    Likes Received:
    1,061
    Trophy Points:
    113
    if i may ask how reckless abandon is this love, would 21 be the youngest

    epstein had sugar babies that were 16 in florida, where the age of consent is 18. however in some states the age of consent is 16.

    the powers that be did not like his love in the state of florida

     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2020
  25. liberalminority

    liberalminority Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    23,058
    Likes Received:
    1,061
    Trophy Points:
    113

Share This Page