Smartie's Bar & Grill #69

It only takes a day.

 

<<<<< Kicks Jukebox.

 

So, this is kinda funny

I guess the hospital staff heard the window break. Four of them came running in, through the doorway, like in a Three Stooges film, where they all get jammed up. So, I'm on the windowsill. It's the third or fourth floor.

I look at them, and they look at me.

The first one to get to me, is a young gal about my age, like twenty. She, evidently sees my hand spraying blood everywhere, and grabs it, applying pressure.

The next person is an adult woman, like thirty-five, or forty. She just grabs my waist in a bear-hug, and lets her weight pull me off the windowsill.

The third person is a little doctor. He's like, fifty-five, and about 5'7" and 135 pounds. He comes in just like you would see in a movie. Arm raised, and needle in hand.

It was the last guy who got my attention. He was about twenty-five years old, maybe 6'2" and about 260lbs. He was pretty solid, too.

I took one look at him, and I thought: OK, you got me. I surrender.

Then, I woke up strapped to the bed, with my hand in a cast.

 

Try loading a hog on the back of a pickup truck in 90 degree heat when it doesnt want to go. I finally got a rope around the snout and wrapped the other end around an upright. The wife kept the slack out and I eventually got the hog on the back of the truck and dropped the gate on him. It took all day. But the pork was very good. We fed all our pigs a lot of acorns.

 

Hah!!! Never had hogs and for good reason. They can be pretty dangerous, can't they?

Did you know you [anyone, statistically] are more likely to be killed by a pig than by a shark?

 

A buddy at the farm supply store was once telling about a problem bull they had. When a neighbor's cow was in heat, he would go right through the fence to get her. My buddy said it really pissed off his dad because he had to fix the fences. Then one day the bull went through about three fences to get a cow down the road. Just by chance the cow and pasture belonged to the local butcher. The bull never made it home that time.

 

I'm reminded a couple times I saw a local neighbor { former Cuban }
who can be seen trimming his bushes and edging his yard with his
Cuban sun hat and Cuban cigar shirt.Respectably,always.And
somewhat dignified.The couple times I saw him in the local Wal*mart
shopping I carefully took my time shopping to have a clear mental
image as to what exactly what in his Shopping cart.It was half-filled
with Whole Foods.Carrots and Potatoes and Celery and some greens
and different fruit and small bags of raw beans and rice.
I think a good size brisket of beef and another large beef package.
No sugar or preserved products.No silly breaded stuff or wheat-based
anything.In fact,no bread.Just whole Foods.I've watched this guy,
an older gentleman a few blocks over from where I live for like
3 decades.He really never aged.He also likes to put up Christmas
ornaments every Christmas.I don't know for sure if he's originally from
Cuba.But he dresses like a person from Cuba and always has a long cigar
in his mouth when doing yard work.I wonder if he's Catholic.
You know* Fidel Castro was educated by the Jesuits.And our current
Pope is The first-ever Jesuit.
The lesson being ... Eat right and don't follow fads.
Stick to what you know works and doesn't complicate Life.
Such is Wisdom.

* Attended Catholic Elementary school and graduated from
Belen, a Prep school in Havana run by Jesuit priests.

 

Bread is evil. Smart man and ahead of his time. A buddy was telling me recently what they are teaching in his daughter's health class - The more you eat bread, the sooner you'll be dead.

I attended a Catholic Elementary Jesuit school as well. Jesuits are the smart Catholics and put a heavy emphasis on math and science.

I met Mother Theresa once too. She used to visit our school from time to time - I guess whenever she was in the US. I don't know why. One of our priests must have known her.

 

My last boss had a bull that pushed his livestock trailer into the creek from his pasture. He was a mean one. I do not raise hogs anymore. It is less expensive...and a lot less trouble to buy pork at the supermarket. Just not as tasty.

 

No You first.And Last.
Plus how do you know the pork is good.Even if slaughtered the meat
needs time to age or rest.Like in Italy,where their Hams are aged to
perfection.Unless that PiG had a thing about being a Ham.
Unlike those of the Maxine Waters persuation.

 

So then you've progresssed.Instead of buying a Pig at the supermarket,
you'll gladly settle for just a Pork.A Loin or a chop ... btw.

 

Cows can be mean too! Our neighbor had one push her through a fence made of 2x6s. That had to hurt!

One time I was working in the feed area of the barn when, without me knowing, one of our dogs had been chasing a baby cow. He was just playing but mom didn't like it one bit. I didn't know until our dog came running in and hid behind me. WTF? I had never seen him act like that. About five seconds later I was staring down a very angry mama cow with no means of escape. She stood there huffing and snorting and scratching the ground with her hoof. I had a friend working with me and he was a country boy. I looked at him and his eyes were the size of pie pans. Uh oh!!! If Shane is worried then this is bad! I thought I was dead meat. Finally she just walked away huffing and snorting. Whewwww! If she had attacked there was nowhere to run.

 

How to tell the pork is good? Taste it.

 

With pigs you can use a pig board. But with any animal....always have a place to escape.

 

Oh yes, I have to mention cow sex. The females would often pee in the face of the bull to get him turned on. And when they did, it was like turning on a fire hose. The first time we saw it I turned to my wife and said, "Works for me. Are you game?"

 

YES! I was in a feed stall and was caught completely off guard. In fact I didn't know until that moment how dangerous cows can be. It was only when I saw Shane's pie eyes that I knew I was in trouble. He was in the other stall.

 

So here I'm sitting missing my sb tonight. She has a big paper due next week and needs to work. God I miss her.

I've always loved this song. It's the first EJ song I learned to play on the piano. But I was shocked to learn that Bernie Taupin wrote this when he was 16 years old.

 

This is another favorite of mine. I loved it the day it came out. It struck me as funny when I went back and listened to it after all these years; after all I've been through. Talk about coming full circle! I never imagined that one day it would have personal meaning for me. I don't see sweet painted ladies now but I sure did in the very beginning. When my ex and I split the first thing I did was head to Reno [Nevada].

A young lady on this forum surprised me by posting it as a favorite of hers. We talked and she is in the Navy working on missile guidance systems. I asked how in the world she ever got to know this song. It came out in the early 70s. She said it is a standard for the Navy boys. They play it on ships all the time.

 

What's with all this " We " bidness.It's - HereYouGoAgain -
or better still - HereIGoAgain -.Possibly - HereExGoAgain -.
YouIEx don't add up to We.In nobody's phone directory.
People are such " we " creatures.
What's with You Earthlings anywho.
Anywe.?

 

Huh? We talked. I don't know what you're talking about.

 

Picked green beans and tomatoes this morning. The green bean harvest is bumper. The tomato harvest isnt that great but better than last year. We will probably have enough green beans to last until next years bean harvest. The freezer is filling up. Starting on my flower beds and cleaning them up. Will build at least two beds for strawberry plants.