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Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Feb 21, 2019.

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  1. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Spelling is my fortay.
     
    Nonnie, Mar 11, 2019
    #126
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  2. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Britain has been declared the "booziest" nation in the world.

    Now off down the pub to celebrate the good news.
     
    Nonnie, Mar 11, 2019
    #127
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  3. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 11, 2019
    #128
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  4. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I'll drink to that :)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 11, 2019
    #129
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  5. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Thank goodness! No longer do we have to bear the burden.
     
    Sallyally, Mar 11, 2019
    #130
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  6. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    We do the beer, you guys stick to the pizzas and burgers :)
     
    Nonnie, Mar 11, 2019
    #131
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  7. Blaster3

    Blaster3 Well-Known Member

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    beautiful!!! love it, although i'd suggest a small improvement... go-pro's on the claw and that kool trash compactor in texas...

    as an aside, does that claw thingy come in a 'walkin' model to patrol the border?
     
    Blaster3, Mar 11, 2019
    #132
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 13, 2019
    #133
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  9. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I told my therapist that "I hear voices."
    "How often does this happen ?" he asked me.
    "Whenever people talk to me."
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 13, 2019
    #134
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  10. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Brexit makes me nostalgic for the days when all we had to worry about was a nuclear holocaust.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 13, 2019
    #135
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  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral.

    The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.

    "Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea - go and bury 20 more of them."
     
    Sallyally, Mar 13, 2019
    #136
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  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    A class couple
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 13, 2019
    #137
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  13. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    The first night in prison and not sleeping next to my wife, I wrestled uncontrollably with a large and throbbing erection.
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    .
    I just wish it had been mine.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 14, 2019
    #138
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  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    I think that bloke is going to be missing out for a while.
     
    Sallyally, Mar 14, 2019
    #139
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  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 14, 2019
    #140
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  16. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper."

    Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."

    Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.

    The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"

    "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
     
    Sallyally, Mar 14, 2019
    #141
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  17. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 14, 2019
    #142
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  18. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 14, 2019
    #143
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  19. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    The sport for true professional athletes
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 14, 2019
    #144
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  20. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    We have a Labour voter here
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 14, 2019
    #145
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  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    This literally is the greatest thing ever made
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 14, 2019
    #146
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  22. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    My grandfather was responsible for downing 150 German planes.
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    .
    .
    .
    He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2019
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 15, 2019
    #147
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  23. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

    The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question.

    "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.

    The witness still did not respond.

    Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

    "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
     
    Sallyally, Mar 15, 2019
    #148
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  24. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I have come up with a new month craze
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    .
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    Starch March it's where you're single for a month and have to do your own ironing.....
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 16, 2019
    #149
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  25. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    If children are a gift from god, did he keep the receipt?
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 16, 2019
    #150
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