FOX anchor! Girls who get FRAT rapes, "What are boys supposed to do?"

But it can be SETTING HERSELF UP FOR IT. Just as if I get sheeze faced drunk at a bar and decide to walk down a dark alley in a bad part of town on the way I MAY GET RAPED or at the least rolled and robbed. I should try to be responsible for myself and NOT DO THAT, don't you think? It's not letting the person who would rape me or rob me off the hook, they are just as guilty as if I was not sheeze faced drunk, but had I not been drunk I probably would have not gone down that alley in such a mental state I could be raped and robbed by some evil person.

So don't you think it prudent advice to young girls, not so experience with drinking and what it can do you to and others, NOT to get drunk at parties, not to act in such blatantly sexual ways, not to set yourself up for some type of assault you will be unable to resist?

 

And do you teach your sons and daughters that they should not go out and get so inebriated that they loss control of the situation around them, lose their own better judgement and put themselves in a position they may not be able to resist an assault? That they should always be aware of their surroundings and the people they are around and always be in control of their own safety? Or do you tell them go ahead get out of control and put yourself in a position to be assaulted and not to worry we won't say you shouldn't have gotten sheeze face drunk and put yourself in a position you could not defend yourself when we come to pick you up at the hospital and have to go through with the trial of the person who assaulted you? In fact you will say go out and do it again next week?

I don't get this mentality that advising young girls to NOT put themselves in a position to get raped is telling boys it is OK to do so if they do.

 

I guess I’ll just have to remain in my “unicorns, fairies and puppy kisses” world, because I will never accept that anyone is setting themselves up for rape or sexual assault. I do think it’s prudent for everyone to behave in a manner that shows concern and respect for each other. That means girls not getting drunk and acting in salacious ways, but also for guys to know that ‘yes’ does not mean ‘yes’ until the girl says ‘yes’. I mean, given you have this expectation that boys are going to be boys and they just can’t control their impulses, so you place all the responsibility on the girl to not put herself in that situation, where is the expectation that they exercise as much discipline as you’re demanding of the girls? The advice has to go both ways. How about everyone stop getting stoned-face drunk and behaving badly?

But I am not going to waver from my stance that a girl never asks for rape or to be sexually assaulted. She should never have to take responsibility for a crime being committed against her. I mean could you imagine a judge saying “Sir, I cannot convict you of rape because she asked for it”?

 

And I hope it never happens to you because you set yourself up for some rapist or assailant to take advantage of that.

Well rapist and assialants usually don't, it's the last thing on their minds.

No I expect RAPIST to act as RAPIST and ASSAILANTS to act as ASSAILANTS, why do group rapist and assailants with all boys?

READ MY POST, I have stated exactly that. Boys can be raped too you know, they can also be assaulted and rolled and robbed if they are not prudent in their own behavior.

Asking implies consent, no one is saying anything of the sort. But setting yourself up for an assault surely comes into play here, does that excuse the rapist or assailant? Of course not and no one here is saying any such thing.

 

Thank you for your concern, but I have and always have kept myself and my behavior in check. I've only been drunk once where I actually had a hangover; it was at my going away party when I was stationed in Korea; so I have never passed out. I do everything in moderation. I am well-adept in self-defense. I was never the big partier type. I have chosen my friends and where I hang out carefully. I have always tried to treat people with respect and with a 'golden rule' mentality. I have had girlfriends where I could done things to get me in trouble and always told myself 'no'.

I have not lived a perfect life and am not trying to portray myself otherwise. But I have managed, even with a 20 year military career, to avoid this sort of trouble. Perhaps it's not the norm; but I can have my little fairytale belief that it should be. It's how I have chosen to live my life and it's worked out well for me. It wasn't hard to do. I shouldn't be for others.

 

Then why do you seem to take offense we advise our teenage and young adult sons and daughters to do the same?

 

kudos to you. It's wonderful that you treat all women w/nothing but respect. Could you teach all the other males out there who don't have your wonderful manners? They could really use your help and guidance and it would make life so much better & safer for the females.........

"(*)(*)(*)(*) happens" is a figure of speech. Of course rape is a crime and yes, you're absolutely RIGHT - we DO live in a sad and dangerous world and that's why women need to be taught early in their teens about protecting themselves and it starts w/their attire.

To let your daughter think her tiny skimpy dress is 'cute' and let her go out the door, thinking the rest of the world will only admire her sexy little figure w/all that skin showing is allowing her to set herself up for serious trouble from the males who DON'T HAVE YOUR impeccable manners of showing nothing but respect for all females....... do you get it NOW?

Rape victims should NEVER be blamed for being raped, regardless of who they are or how they're dressed or how they acted or how much they drank. So many of these girls/women are simply naive, uneducated females who don't understand the danger out there when they expose to much of themselves, naively thinking that the males will only admire their bodies......especially when she's passed out in a drunken stupor...... wake up!

 

I think I have been fair on both sides of this discussion in saying guys have to exercise more discipline as well girls shouldn't behave in suggestive ways.

But I am absolutely clear that dressing provocatively, or dancing suggestively, or passing out drunk are not invitations to being raped or sexually assaulted. The ONLY time two people should EVER have sex is when both mutually agree to it. I am countering that a woman needs to take responsibility for being raped. I don't think there is ever a time where I woman goes into a situation thinking "hmmm, I could get raped here. I think I'll stay, get drunk, and flash my boobs, and dance suggestively, then pass out."

 

it happens, but usually the guy is too embarrassed to report it and feels it's partly their fault for getting that drunk in the first place

 

And no one has disagreed with that have they.

You keep using the word "invitation" as if someone is implying it is OK to rape a girl if she does engage in such behavior and it makes it "all her fault".

DUH, who has disagreed?

Women AND MEN need to take responsibility to not put themselves in situations where they may be subject to an assault and cannot defend themselves as in getting so inebriated or drugged up that some will try to take advantage of that.

Hopefully and I have every reason to believe they if they do see such a situation they decide NOT to get drunk and flash their boobs and dance suggestively instead of not realizing it and doing it.

 

And that's why educating the daughter about the ugly reality of life is so important....

One reason why I was careful w/my 2 girls and making sure they understood that not all people are what they appear to be was my own experience when I was 19 - single and working and I had absolutely no idea I was being stalked until the night he broke into my apt in the middle of the night. To be woken up in the darkness of your br to find a hand over your mouth and hear "don't scream or I'll stick this ice pick thru your neck" is something you don't ever forget.

He was later caught, I could only ID him in the line-up by his voice since it was dark and he was sent up the river.

After it was over, I asked the detective how he knew I was living alone, only me and another single woman living in the apt complex, the rest married couples. He said when they got to my place, the 1st thing they do is check the woman's mailbox to see how she ID'd herself and said I did it right - 1st name initial w/surname. They asked him how he knew I was living along and he told them. He saw me one day and followed me home. I worked at a bank downtown and often walked home after work. This total stranger lived several blocks from me and started watching me every day.....when the detective told me that, I swear the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up - I had no idea.

That experience is one reason why I believe in angels. Lol. He could have really hurt me, even killed me b/c I was sound asleep, But by the grace of God, I got out of it, unraped and not physically hurt, but an emotional mess and married my fiance sooner than we planned.....

Yrs later I have 2 lovely teen daughters and one day I had them read the police report and talked to them about always being aware of your surroundings, to keep themselves as safe as possible. No, I wasn't a paranoid mom..... just a smart one who experienced the dangers out there when I least expected it, which seemed to be getting even worse and now it's really bad........

So no, stuff like this doesn't happen just on tv shows, but in real life. So many women being stalked and so many really being hurt and raped and my daughters understood this in their teens and their responsibility of keeping themselves safe by their attire, behavior and the choices they made......

 

God almighty.... it's called 'body language'.... in her innocence, she's sending the wrong message to these guys who has sex on their brain as they're watching her bump and grind and falling over drunk..... if she IS 'innocent' and no, not all women are innocent, anymore than all men are sexual perverts.... does that shock ya?

 

Dressing sexy and dancing sexy are NOT invitations for assualt. PERIOD.

As yes (to those who wanted to know), my kids are taught not to do things that will cause them harm...including drinking to oblivion.

I hope people that do drink that much the worse thing that they experience is a hangover.

 

IMHO, both should be taught. Boys should be taught to do the right thing. Girls should be taught caution. If both are taught, the amount of sexual assault would diminish greatly. If I had daughters, I would teach them caution, and to not get drunk unless you've got people watching out for you. I do have sons. I teach them to do the right thing. I also will teach them about being careful who they get drunk around as well.

Here's an op-ed on a similar subject by noted feminist, Camille Paglia.

http://time.com/3444749/camille-paglia-the-modern-campus-cannot-comprehend-evil/

 

Add in getting drunk while doing so with a bunch of strange men and then passing out losing control of yourself unable to defend yourself can sure set yourself up for it can't it. Wouldn't you teach your daughters and sons not to put themselves at such risk?

 

The only thing I am trying to say is a woman never asks to be sexually assaulted. There is nothing for her to take responsibility for, except to report it and get the rapist in prison.

 

Bump, grind, drunk = forcibly have sex with me.

I get it.

 

And not every woman is aware she is sending out "come on" signals - she might be wearing a red dress and THAT would be seen as "I want sex" by some men

A woman should be able to walk down the street naked and not be raped

 

How many times do you want me to answer you? Once wasnt ENOUGH apparently.

 

I disagree with your OP ED because a lot of the manner of dress and behaviour is learnt from advertising - which is constantly sending the message that sexy is desirable

However that being said there is no excuse for forcible sex - or forcible anything for that matter. If someone is overweight is that a signal for others to come and take food out of their hands? If someone is smoking do you have the right to remove the cigarette from their mouth and destroy the packet?

 

Sad, huh?

and bingo was his name-o!

How do they explain women who are covered well and simply walking out in public?

 

Rape occurs in countries where women are covered head to toe - in fact it is quite prevalent there because of the unequal gender power base,

Clothing, style use lack of have NOTHING to do with rape.

The answer is simple for men - you do not want to be accused of rape do not have sex with a woman - and it is the SAME answer many men on this board in relation to unwanted pregnancy

 

Which you conflate with setting herself for an assault or rape.

Should I take responsibility for myself and not put on a KKK uniform and walk down the street in a black neighborhood at night?

Don't you think you should take responsibility for yourself and not get so sheeze face drunk that you pass out flat on your face and someone robs you on your walk home?

And you don't think women should make sure the act responsibly and make sure they don't put them selves in position where they could be defenseless and be subjected to an assault or a rape?

I do when I go and I'm a grown man.

 

How about Bump, grind, drunk = I'm looking for someone to have consensual sex with me?

Would you agree that some women go out and bump and grind hoping to attract a man to have sex with them? That they do it as an invite, the consensual sex that is?

 

So, a young girl who is a little naïve has one drink too many because she is unaware that this party they are not measuring the tots but simply filling the glass - she is raped but because she, unknowingly, got drunk (and yes you can be unaware that you have had too much until you go to stand/walk out into fresh air/sneeze) she gets pregnant but is not allowed to abort because it was her fault for asking for it and finally she cannot have paid maternity leave but must either put her child up for adoption or try to live on the streets or both?