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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    And I'm a lefty(ish) who thinks Conservative government is usually a far better thing than any Labour government but has never voted for either.

    I also want less illegal immigration, have no problem with legal EU immigation and am a Remainer.
     
    Montegriffo, Dec 14, 2018
    #3101
  2. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
    Montegriffo, Dec 14, 2018
    #3102
  3. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Trebuchet in your avatar they're stealing my idea for solving the US border crisis....

    Did I mention I'm a big Maggie fan ;)

     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 14, 2018
    #3103
  4. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    Not a big fan of the milk snatcher myself.

    I went and saw that treb' at Warwick castle a few months ago. I ended up having a long chat with the guys firing it and explained that I had built a series of ever increasing ones myself. The trebuchet master allowed me to stand with the crew next to it for the afternoon firing while all the other punters were sent off the island to a distance of 100m away.
    You have no idea how exited I was...

     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
    Montegriffo, Dec 14, 2018
    #3104
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  5. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    As usual, it has fallen to me to be the nominated driver this festive season.
    .
    .
    .
    Being the only one among my friends who can drive straight after 8 pints.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 14, 2018
    #3105
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  6. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Eating at McDonald's regularly, has plenty of health benefits.
    .
    .
    .
    For instance, it would prevent you from dying of old age.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 14, 2018
    #3106
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  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    There is a big difference... between Men and Women when they say :
    .
    .
    .
    "I finished a whole box of tissue watching that film last night..."
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 14, 2018
    #3107
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  8. Richard The Last

    Richard The Last Well-Known Member

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    What does a dog do that a man steps into?

    sʇuɐd
     
    Richard The Last, Dec 14, 2018
    #3108
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  9. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I think my new girlfriend's a slut.
    I asked her if she preferred being on top or on the bottom during sex and she replied "In the middle."
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 14, 2018
    #3109
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  10. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Clever.
     
    Sallyally, Dec 14, 2018
    #3110
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  11. Richard The Last

    Richard The Last Well-Known Member

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    It's been so long since I've had sex I can't even remember who gets tied up.
     
    Richard The Last, Dec 14, 2018
    #3111
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  12. Richard The Last

    Richard The Last Well-Known Member

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    A blonde cop pulls over a blonde in convertible.
    The cop asks the driver for her I.D.
    The driver searches her purse in vain.
    Finally she asks the officer: "What would my ID look like?"
    The officer says: "It's that thing in your purse with your picture on it."
    The blonde driver searches again.
    Pulling out her compact, she opens it and sure enough sees herself.
    She hands the compact to the blonde cop.
    The cop looks at the compact for a few seconds, rolls her eyes,
    hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver, and says:
    "If you had told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you
    over we could have avoided all this."
     
    Richard The Last, Dec 14, 2018
    #3112
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  13. Richard The Last

    Richard The Last Well-Known Member

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    Two blondes walk into a bar....

    You'd think one of them would have seen it!
     
    Richard The Last, Dec 14, 2018
    #3113
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  14. ModCon

    ModCon Well-Known Member

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    You must have been born on the highway.

    That's where most mistakes happen
     
    ModCon, Dec 14, 2018
    #3114
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  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    In yet another bizarre Brexit twist, Gary Lineker is now handling negotiations with Michel Barnier and Theresa May is presenting this weeks Match of the Day.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 15, 2018
    #3115
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  16. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    "People say Santa should now be female or gender neutral - sparking debate" My sister is in favour of that.
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    .
    .
    Probably because she has a beard.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 15, 2018
    #3116
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  17. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    No.1 US sitcom Friends
    No.1 UK Sitcom Blackadder

    Nuff said
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 15, 2018
    #3117
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  18. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Dec 15, 2018
    #3118
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  19. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Did you know....

    Screenshot_20181215-222107.jpg

    Haven't a clue why I posted that here?
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2018
    Nonnie, Dec 15, 2018
    #3119
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  20. Richard The Last

    Richard The Last Well-Known Member

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    Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation.

    The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said, "So why are you here?"

    The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything ... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids.
    But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

    The black Lab said, "So what's the vet going to do?"

    "Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the yellow Lab.
    "They reckon it'll calm me down."

    The Yellow Lab then asked the Black Lab, "And why are you here?"

    The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

    "So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired.

    "Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

    The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "So what about you, why are you here?"

    "I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and she was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."

    The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

    The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"
     
    Richard The Last, Dec 16, 2018
    #3120
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  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 16, 2018
    #3121
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  22. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    This is old now but it's still cracking
    https://www.theweek.co.uk/95457/man-changes-gender-to-get-cheaper-car-insurance

     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 16, 2018
    #3122
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  23. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Bestiality is an unusual topic.
     
    Sallyally, Dec 16, 2018
    #3123
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  24. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    You were debating is it 1 18" or 2 12" last night which is oddly what the Mrs said too....

    I might have been watching Carry on at your convenience, still better than Avengers ;)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 16, 2018
    #3124
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  25. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I always feel "Ruff" when we talk about bestiality....
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 16, 2018
    #3125
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