To my straight friends

Proper up bringing will prevent it. Have a child, raise an adult.

 

It's all about you, isn't it?

 

I suspect the reason many parents reject their children once they become teens and adults is because the child/teen is no longer doing chores or in any other way benefiting the parents. So it is very convenient to find any excuse to write off the child, making up any justification for doing so. The list is almost endless. Marrying the wrong person. Disapproving of the girlfriend/boyfriend. Wrong life style. And the list goes on and on.

This is obvious as obviously who the kids marries, has sex with, dates etc doesn't affect the parents whatsoever, certainly not when the kid becomes an adult and leaves home. Inherently, the proactive rejection has nothing to do with the kid, it has to do only with the parent and the parents own self motives. "Be everything I demand you be all your life" as a condition of parental love isn't love at all. It is emotional extortion. They treat their spouses the same way.

Of itself, there should be no problem as long as the kid as an adult can completely write off that parent from their psychology. They have to recognize they have a purely self centered parent who wants to break and hurt them, and accordingly fully detach from that parent rather than trying to find any way to make peace. It can be hard to lose parents, even rotten parents. Some kids struggle quite hard with that and there may be a few rounds of interaction before finally truly realizing the reality. They had a rotten parent then, have a rotten parent now, and will always be a negative in their lives unless able to fully erase that parent from their lives and thinking process. That also is a process they need to be walked thru - the skill of severance. Many people lack that skill.

There was one family with 3 closely aged children. Bam, Bam, Bam we facilitated their escapes. The father was outraged because we had circumvented his control and eliminated his trap. He no longer could threaten to cut off food, housing etc - which is very frightening to highly dominated kids even as teens. The wife, a highly dominated woman, had enough. She had to pick between him and her children - though now off on their lives as adults. She divorced him so she coudl reconnect to her children. It did not have to do with gender-sexuality matters. Just a bully-thug father who demanding all his children remain mini-mes their whole lives serving his goals and purposes, little more than slaves.

 

All you can say is that it's a good thing for his child that he didn't become what such a hateful patent would throw a fit over.

His son is lucky in that sense. But unlucky in the sense that he only received conditional love from his father. Who knows what other things he'd disown his child for.

 

Simply put it's because they are hateful and selfish. They are concerned about their image in their social clubs (church). Or what others will think. In a way they never grew out of being teenagers themselves.

They lack the maturity to handle their children being individual people separate from themselves.

They should be pitied.

 

I must add that because I do not recognize homosexual marriage or homosexuality as anything other than a sin/human perversion, my children would not be allowed to have a partner in my house as a gay couple, married or not.

 

The son will likely be psychologically crippled in other ways, though more buried. He will feel a need to always present himself as right and a success to the measures of such a father. Most deal with this by lying, only telling of good things, and making decisions seeking acceptance and approval, even if any outsider would recognize they are bad decisions. They also will tend to take out such frustrations on then their own spouse and own children. Without intervention and if unable to fully break free on their own, abused children tend to become abusive parents and spouses.

They also tend to have minimal sucess in life for the same traits, defining their success not in real success, but in self declarations of self superiority for their stubborness, bigotries, self-claimed moral superiority, their race, gender etc. Although having little to show as a successful life, they see themselves as a success by declaring they have some inherent superior over others in the "at least I'm not like those people" attitude.

 

Then I will add that I fully disagree with you as to your reasons, but you may have whatever reasons you wish in your own home. However, your's is a common view in terms of unmarried couples of a sexual relationship sleeping together overnight in their home in general. Then again you said you wouldn't allow such a child of yours even into your house, which is something quite different.

Good luck having sinless adult children since walking thru the door of your house isn't a sin, is it? Or a sinless spouse for that matter. Does that apply to everyone? No sinners may come into your home?

That's funny to think of. A relative comes to your house. You say, "Hold on a minute. Are you a sinner? If so you may not enter my sinless home."

 

I find it difficult to pity (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)s and greatly dislike child abusers, to honest about it.

 

Nope, it was all about him. And teaching him how to be a man.

 

That's not what I said. I said I would not allow a partner under the representation as a gay partner. My daughters would be allowed in my house. They would be allowed to have friends, not gay sexual partners. You are reading way more into my statement than I said.

 

So you are claiming that all LGTBs should be blamed on the parents. How typical. Blame the parents. So if a kid comes out as gay, he/she should do so ragingly screaming at the parents "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" I suppose then should sue the parents. Probably should hate their parents for making them become gay.

 

OK. Your daughter may only have sinless friends in the house. Did I now get it right? Probably not.

If she was having unmarried sex with a man, would you want to meet that man? Sit down and talk with him trying to sense if he was an abuser, a cheater, a doper, a bum?

You may be reading more into what I wrote too, actually. You can keep anyone out of your house that you want to for good reason, bad reason, or no reason. Once an adult, even your own children regardless of why. It is your home.

It is a curious position though in the sense of partitioning what of your daughter you will know and what you will not. For example, am I correct that you wouldn't want to know anything about the nature of her partner personally, though would if the partner is a man? That seems risky, as there could be other reasons to warn your daughter there are dangers of her same-sex partner other than just about sexuality.

Until adults, we want to know everything about who our children date or even have as friends. We want to meet that person - in person. We want to meet the parents. In fact, we require this in both regards. If going somewhere with other kids, we MUST meet those kids first and, circumstantially, maybe their parents. And while still underage we maintain some veto power too - not something always well received and something many people disagree with. However, if the reasons are good reasons and the practice started young - with good effects seen as a result - it actually comes to be appreciated, surprising as that seems and almost remorse when we stop doing so when leaving home as adults.

Leaving home (not an option) is something we call "sink or swim time." But we've tried to lead the child to being a world class Olympic swimmer when that day comes. At that time, the child - parent relationship becomes optional both ways. They are not under our rules anymore. Our obligations become only those we care to have, which are few. It's time to be an independent, self dependent adult. So far, those out have done astonishly well, promptly going to the top of anything they do - personally, in relationships, academically and professionally.

 

I never even suggested that only sinless people were allowed in my house. I said I would not allow sinful relations in my house. It is natural for my daughters to date. As adults, I would not have known whether they were active or not. Knowing they were not married they would not be sharing a room. It would not bother me if they sit together and hold hands or typical dating behavior. This would not be tolerated in a homosexual way, is what I'm saying.

Btw, I have two girls, both are normal married with children. I'm hypothesizing when they were not married. Both my girls would have known better than to carry on in a homosexual manner around me or in my house.

 

You don't really teach that, he was born with a penis he well be a man unless he was killed.

 

And knowing that is your nature/values that would have been the correct thing for them to do - to keep it from you. Confrontation or demanding acceptence for the unacceptable merely to do so is only counter productive. Knowing how you feel, the wise decision for either of them to have made would be to keep this from your knowledge. However, there are the obvious negatives and minimially evasions that then must result - such as your pondering to her why she hasn't married, asking if she's seeing anyone etc as the years rolled by.

Nothing rare there. Parents keep secrets from their children. Children keep secrets from their parents.

Particularly as adults, neither parents or their adult child have a right to demand the other accept the other's values as their own. I'm not being as critical of you as it may read.

 

That is nonsense. If you can prove that, I'm open to the same.

Holding what you say up against reality, shows a massive HOLE in what you are claiming.

 

It's sad in my view... but many people do think/believe as you do. I hope there are fewer and fewer thinking that way, as time passes.

 

Penis makes you male. Man takes upbringing and parents.

 

You can't teach 'sexual-orientation'. And there are many strong, complete men, who happen to be 'homosexual'.

 

Name one.

 

This is the hypocrisy I cannot stand from some Christians. Sin is okay if it's not gay. If you even look at someone of the opposite sex lustfully and you aren't married to that person you have committed adultery. Jesus said it himself clear as day.

Matthew 5:27-28
27(*)“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’(*)28[/B>(*)But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.​

But adultery is fine, it isn't even really a sin, Jesus must just have been joking when he said what he said. Because we all know being gay is the only real sin. Blasphemy if the holy spirit, adultery, lust, those are all natural and thus good. Right?

If you want to pretend homosexuality is a sin than so is hetersexuality, it's the attraction to the opposite sex and if you are looking lustful at the opposite sex and you aren't married or they aren't your spouse than you are an adulterer as Jesus himself defined it.

I'm sorry I don't tolerate this cherry picking nonsense.

 

I don't need to do that. They surely exist and you likely interact with them 'daily'.

 

No man is the term for our species. All it takes is being born. Your upbringing had no effect on that. If you died before he was born he'd have still grown up to be a man.

A male human adult is a man by definition.

- - - Updated - - -

They are pathetic, pathetic means deserving of pity.

 

He claimed he raised his boy to be a man. All boys become men, unless they die. There isn't any need for any upbringing for that to happen, just survival and a penis.

Basically he said he did absolutely nothing to raise his boy. I can believe that.